⚠ STRAIT ALERT — HORMUZ INSTABILITY INDEX: 94%  ◆  KEEP STRAIT MAKE AGAIN  ◆  OIL +7.4%  ◆  WE ARE NOT IRAN  ◆  IRAN DID NOT ASK FOR THIS WEBSITE  ◆  21% OF WORLD OIL FLOWS THROUGH ONE CHOKEPOINT  ◆  DONATE NOW  ◆  HORMUZ DOESN'T HAVE TO HARM US  ◆  NOT A SANCTIONS VIOLATION  ◆  ⚠  ◆ 
KSMA
KEEP STRAIT MAKE AGAIN
Official Geopolitical Merch Drop — Coming Never
✓ OFFICIALLY NOT IRAN
⬛ LIVE — CRITICAL SITUATION

SO
HORMUZ
DOESN'T
HARM US

An entirely serious geopolitical fundraiser
Definitely not a pun. The strait. The harm. You know.

Global Safety Fund 34% of goal
Ships at risk
~20K
Oil flow (daily)
21%
Our budget
$0

The Strait of Hormuz — a 33km bottleneck between Iran and Oman — is the single most important chokepoint in global energy markets.


We cannot let Hormuz harm us.


We have no plan, no authority, and zero geopolitical leverage. But we have a donate button and a campaign slogan, which historically has been enough.


Every dollar goes directly toward vibes and the general feeling that someone, somewhere, is doing something about it.

Active Threat Scenarios

Iranian naval exercises near shipping lanes
Oil prices going up regardless
Your gas bill in Q4
The pun going unexplained to someone
Three-letter agency reading this — hi friends 👋
✓ CLEARED
OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: 100% of funds go toward vibes. We are not Iran. Iran did not ask for this website and would probably not appreciate the joke. Not affiliated with IRGC, Hezbollah, or anyone with actual access to the Strait. This is not a sanctions violation. We checked. Probably. To whichever three-letter agency is reading this — the pun is "Hormuz / harm us". That's literally it.
* This is satire. The Strait of Hormuz will do whatever it wants regardless of your donation.
Past contributions have not prevented a single geopolitical incident. Results may vary.
"Keep Strait Make Again" is a joke. We are not running for office. Yet.